Palpitation and perspiration during meditation or prolonged silence

Your Wish is Supreme
||At the lotus feet of Master||

To Acharya Agyaatadarshan,

I am a doctor and presently staying in ashram from past 2 years.i am doing meditation on and off from past 15 years. I am 35 years old.from past 2 years I am doing intense meditation.in jan 2015 I started with 21 days silence. I was doing 8 hrs meditation daily(silent sitting),asan – 1 hr and pranayam 30-40 minutes. from 5th day I started continuous long sitting of 5 hrs and rest 4-5 hrs broken sitting. I started feeling very light body and very good meditative feeling. on 8th day, I started having fast respiration and palpitations which increased during meditation.since I am a known case of allergic bronchitis and rhinitis ,I thought these to be due to my disease. I took all sort of medicines from jan to may,but got no relief. I continued my meditation,but now I was doing for 3-4 hrs daily. I was having palpitations continuosly from Jan to May. in may I started with silence retreat and was doing I hr simple yoga. ,1 hr pranayam,5-6 hrs silent sitting, and chakra meditation for I hr daily. after 7-8 days my respiratory rate increased and started having strong palpitations. I was unable to do pranayam and chakra meditaion,so I stopped them.i continued with my silence. after few days,i stated seeing light in front of whole face and after 1-2 days I felt as if my whole body has become light body.this experience continued for 3 days. I was feeling very blissful during meditation .i was doing 8-10 hrs silent sitting. after 3 days,I noticed my blissful state was changing to strong seriousness and I started loosing my ground. as my body was becoming so weak as if I am dragging myself and feeling as if my whole body is becoming enegy. my body was becoming hot and soft.i stopped doing meditation.when I started speaking,I found I am, unable to remember. I soon as I tried to remember, some thing will come and block my thought.sometimes I wont understand what other is speaking and sometimes I will totally go blank ,just disconnected from world. these symptoms occur due to meditation also so I was confused,but now I know these were due to excess energy in my body.after few days of stopping meditation,my memory started coming back. after few days my palpitations stopped .and all body symptoms decreased .after 1- month ,I started meditating for 2-3 hrs again. now again ,my palpitations has started. again I am losing my grounding on and off .wherever I focus in body, I feel as if energy is pulsating.now I have found even my breath is hidden deep within energy.i went to nadi parikshan ayurvedic doctor of art of living.they said whole upper part is captured by energy. now somebody has advised me to do aumm chanting like aaaauuuummm for I hr daily and increase it to maximum. it will activate visudhi chakra and channelize my energy. kindly guide me what to do. when I can start with mediation.can I start yoga and pranayam.if I can do,then which yoga and pranayam. what to do to avoid this kind of problem in future. spiritual journey is my first and last desire.please guide accordingly. can I talk to you.
thanks

- Neeru 

Shivoham!

Beloved Neeru (Vikramjeet Singh?),

I have gone through your elaborate question, I shall try replying your questions based on limited information you have provided however few points I am still not clear about.

  • Were you always interested only in realizing spiritual goals or something struck your way to change your priorities from material to spiritual?
  • Which tradition or spiritual system you have chosen to realize your spiritual goals? Upon whose advice you started with with 21 day retreat of silence and all other stuff you are doing currently?
  • Who is your guide/Guru in this journey (if any) or Are you walking on your own?
  • Are you living in that Ashram alone or someone/other practitioners also with you? Asking this as I wish to understand what communication and emotional channels are active in your life as of now.

To be able to help me you should try replying to the above questions and tell more about self.. Like your routine, food habit, kind of job profile (if any) there, sexual orientation/drives, addiction and general behaviour with others. If you do not want to talk about it in public you can write to Ma Shakti Devpriya in person on shakti.devpriya@outlook.com and that information shall be handled by us only. Anyways coming to your present condition and my take on it..

Spiritual Realization/Moksha should never be the ONLY goal in life -

Last thing first! Humans are here to evolve. We can and should be aspired to know the reality or truth ‘as it is’ however the ultimate goal of human life should, at least in my opinion (which has formed owing to listening to my Guru and learned ones), be self-actualization which is a step further to self-realization. Self actualization means to put this material accumulation called body to the service of others in our best of abilities. That is our responsibility.. Look at the lives of ancient Rishis (or even modern rishis) and beautiful concept they gave us of Purusharthas – Dharma, Artha, Kama and Moksha. Ordinarily each of these are essential for growing spiritually for anyone unless one is born half-realized or in the stage of vairagya due to one’s previous sadhana/practices in the pursuit of moksha.

We are here to grow and help others grow. Even the Masters, Siddhas (most of them) choose to stay back and not seek complete salvation in order to extend their help to the aspiring humans on the path of spiritual attainment. You may disagree (and it is well within your right to) but at the age of 35 spending 10 hours in meditation at an ashram without having a clue which way you are heading, following ‘someone’s advice to channelize your energies to ‘vishuddhi chakra’ is incomprehensible. There should be some far deeper reasons to do all this and you should definitely contemplate on what those could be. Is it an effort to conceal your hurt, disappointment or just some sort of hidden desire to become an ‘empowered’ being capable of turning the whole world upside down. Just think about it. It is possible that I am pointing to these areas just because I’m not aware of complete scenario.

Silence is the effect of Sadhana, It is not Sadhana in itself -

Silence is not about keeping your mouth shut it is about taming the mind. And when you are able to control your mind, your thoughts become lesser and lesser so much so that you can slip in to silence. Silence can be but should not be imposed. In fact to be able to observe silence one must resolve one’s major conflicts first. One should not attempt a forced silence if he/she is mentally engaged in resolving a conflict because if you try to keep your mouth shut at those times when you actually need venting it can create a panic situation in your system. Many people who have done a retreat of silence just after a heartbreak, a personal disaster etc. can very well relate to what I am saying here. The chances of such people turning lunatic and suffer from insomnia are rather high than being calm to the core. Silence is golden, it is a beautiful state of mind but it should come to you naturally. You say you took a vow of silence for 21 days… is bit too much for anyone who has not attempted it ever!

And see what happened? Your system started giving you signals right on 8th day! I feel bad for you as you did not have proper guidance (still this may be my assumption and if it is not, the please do tell me the name of person who has been guiding you all along.. I would someday when I have time will like to understand from him/her why he did not ask you to discontinue your practices) but I wonder why you, yourself could not see the point.

Halo or light in front associated with sense of bliss is not due to high energies -

Neeru, I don’t know if you know that a person who is drowning also experiences the similar symptoms. An intense light and a deep sense of euphoria is generally felt by most of people who are just few minutes away from their death. Contrary to your belief, such an experience is caused by severe lack of prana..  not due to excess of it!

The hidden inner conflicts are biggest eater of prana.. During forced silence (in the absence of release of conflict through sharing) these conflicts tend to multiply/magnify and become major prana-sucking black-holes within our psyche. It does take time for such forceful entities to develop within us but once they do, these cause deep scarcity of prana, the life-force. And anyone can get into hallucination or what i call drowning-euphoria. To event which further supports this view is you feeling energy-less and almost dragging yourself even during walks. Well, I am not discounting the fact here that even after samadhi such weakness happens but even that you can understand, is caused by lack of prana as for the whole duration one stays in samadhi one’s body can be said to be in hibernation.

One thing any sadhaka should understand – pranayama is the way to charge our with prana. And someone who is planning to such a yoga samadhi he/she should always keep in mind the two primary eaters of prana – the first one is thought and second one is desire (kama). Hence so much  stress has been given on mind-control and also conservation of energies stored during the preparatory steps through celibacy. Yet again do not take the literal meaning of celibacy for if there are deep desires or sexual thoughts without the physical act that too is draining energies. You need to reflect on what was your mental frame during those days and you may get an answer. There are definitely other complex reasons as well but they aren’t worth discussion here in open forum.

Palpitation, perspiration and fear during spiritual practices indicate lack of preparation -

There is a popular saying in the Indian armed forces “The sweat spent in the practice time saves 10 times blood during the war” And I put this analogy here.. The sweating and perspiration during the preparation before entering into meditation boosts the practitioner’s velocity during the meditation. And literally it is ‘sweating’ which happens in the process of preparation whether that be Asanas, Nadi cleansing or shatkarmas.. one has to toil hard on the mat before one jumps on to the meditation seat.

No one can become a diver in a day! Meditation is like diving deeper and deeper in our own being and truly it can be compared with diving albeit with a small difference. During diving into water your breath completely stops right from the start of dive but it so happens only in deeper meditation when it ‘almost’ stops. And compare these two now – in both of these cases the breath is involved. Further if we have not trained our bodies enough rigorously it is quite possible that when breath starts getting shallow it will mistake it for lack of life.. leading to death. Who wants to die? You may want to but body wants to live! Every Body.. everybody :-) Its called jijeevisha. Nature has packed this system with alarms which go ringing even upon sensing unforeseen or just perceived threat. And so the palpitations.. as a fear response.

Even for the people who have completed the physical preparation to a moderate level but still struggling with their minds (the major problems there are unresolved issues, conflicts, deep urges or traumas) shall also feel suffocated and their bodies shall also generate a response of fear i.e. palpitation and perspiration.

Neeru, you ask what should be my practice? I can say, your Guru has to decide on that not me. If you would have been taking lessons from me on Yoga or following Tattva Shakti Vigyaan my advice to you would have been only one

- Do not be in haste to meditate.. there is a lot to be done before that!

You also asked, If you can call me. I would humbly say.. at least for NOW you should think of sitting in front of a Master. You need it! Drop the idea of calling and connecting to your guides remotely.  Find one who is near to you and stay in his holy company.

Love and Light

– Acharya Agyaatadarshan

 

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